Joke-The Bad Conductor

A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when a woman got

on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus

and gets killed. At the trial the man was sent down for murder

and was then sent to the electric chair.
On the day of his execution he sat in the chair and the

executioner granted him a final wish.

"Well" says the man, "Is that your packed lunch over there?"

"Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till

he finished it. When the man finished, the executioner flips

the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the

man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The

executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner,

"That has never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses

selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go

when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels

and is killed.

The bloke was sent down for murder again and was again sent to

the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it

right this time so he rigs the chair up to the electric

supply.
The bloke again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?"

asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your

packed lunch?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs

and reluctantly gives up his banana.

The bloke eats the banana and the executioner flips the

switch. Millions of volts coursed through the chair blacking

out Texas. When the smoke cleared, the man was still sitting

there smiling in the chair. The executioner could not believe

it and had to let the man go again.

The bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings

the bell whilst passengers were still getting on, this time

killing three of them. He was sent to the electric chair

again.

The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply

to The chair, determined to get the man this time. The man

sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Well" says

the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed

lunch?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats

it all, skin included.

The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volt goes

through the chair. When the smoke rose the man was still

sitting there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you

can still be alive after all that?" "Is it something to do

with that green banana?" he asked.

"Nahh" said the bloke, "This is all because I'm just a really

bad conductor."

Enjoy the Jokes

1. Wife: Yesterday I saw a very beautiful girl.
Husband: Then what happened?
Wife: I just kept on admiring her, on and on..
Husband (gets irritated): WHAT happened then?
Wife smiled and said: I moved away from the mirror!

2. A mother took her little boy to church.
While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."

The mother said to the little boy, "It’s not appropriate to
say the word 'pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you
have to 'pee’ just tell me that you have to 'whisper’."
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his

father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I
have to whisper."

The father looked at him and said, "Okay, just whisper in my
ear."

Your Business Image: Ten Ways to Build and Market It

Marketing strategies to build your business brand.

Building a business image is not something invented by a public relations firm: It's a reflection of what you do and how you do it. Marketing your business brand means running a first-rate business and letting people know about it. Every action your company takes sends a marketing message.

When most people think about letting the world know about their business, they imagine a clever ad. But advertising is one of the most expensive and least effective forms of marketing. After all, why broadcast your message to many uninterested members of the public, when you can address people who have a demonstrated interest in what you do, merely by creating a strong referral system?

To begin learning how to market your business effectively, check out this list of tactics.

1. Make it look good.

Creating a solid, strong physical impression lends credibility to your business and invites customers in, whether you have a store front, a brochure, or a website. You'll want to suit your look to the type of business you have. An accountant's office should be well-organized and tastefully decorated with business furniture. A dog groomer might choose a whimsical design with bright colors and fun murals on the wall.

2. Create a website.

A simple website is relatively inexpensive and can work wonders in terms of drawing people to your business or telling them more about who you are and what you do. Be sure to create a professional look and feel, one that suits your business, and take care to optimize your site for search engines.For more information, see Get Your Business Online.

3. Create straightforward, easy-to-understand pricing. You'd be surprised how many businesses use a complicated pricing structure -- and try to hide their prices from their customers. Streamline your pricing and make it clear, especially if you run a service business. Exactly how much can your customers expect to pay for which services? A pricing menu is often a good idea.

4. Encourage personal recommendations.

The single best way to get new customers is through personal recommendations. Why? Because almost nothing is as powerful as an endorsement from a friend or relative (and because it's free). Or you can consider rewarding customers for referrals. For example, a hairdresser might give a client who has referred a friend half off her next cut. For more ideas on attracting customers, see A Marketing Strategy for Every Business.

5. Maintain good employee relations.

The people who work for you can be strong assets to your marketing strategy. Employees who love their jobs and believe in your business will not only display/wear/use your merchandise or services, they will also recommend you to their friends and families. Treat them right, and they could be the foundation of your personal recommendations web.

6. Use the press. It always helps to get a little PR -- and you don't need to hire an expensive firm to do it. If you can come up with a newsworthy angle on your business (for instance, your grand opening, your "story," what you offer that's different), you can write a simple press release and send it to local publications.

7. Do a referral exchange.

If there's a related business you find yourself referring clients to, or have a business referring clients to you, set up an exchange. Place brochures or cards at the other business's office (or store), and display their marketing materials in your place of business. Examples of successful referral exchanges are those between chiropractors and massage therapists, dentists and orthodontists, and financial planners and tax preparers.

8. List creatively and widely.

Unlike advertising, listing your business is usually low-cost or free, and it's a great way to draw people to your business. Make sure to list in the obvious places, such as the Yellow Pages and Chamber of Commerce, and find some not-so-obvious places to list as well. For example, does your city have a website where parents make referrals about services for their children? Does a nonprofit organization in your area have a listing of businesses with good environmental and social practices? Get on as many lists as you can.

9. Maintain a customer database.

A customer who used your business once will likely use it again (assuming that the customer had a good experience). Keeping an existing customer database to mail or email promotions to is much less expensive than acquiring a new one. Maintain a database with your customers' contact information, and ask customers whether they'd like to be on your mailing list to receive special offers. A direct mail campaign is much more successful when targeted to existing customers who have opted in to the mailing list.

10. Make a marketing plan.

Draw up a marketing plan. A formal plan should outline your mission, and include an analysis of your market and your competitors, your marketing objectives, and marketing ideas: How do you intend to market your business? Will you use a referral program? A website? Issue press releases? Also, outline your marketing budget, set specific performance goals, and determine how and when you'll meet them. Check back regularly to track your progress

Permanent Affiliate Program

Permanent Affiliate Program

Affiliate Program online is a sustained, step by step focussed daily activity in internet to be practiced with patience. It is not a "sprint" and it pays passively forever. Most of the people who take up Affiliate Program struggle and get dejected and lose interest. How to overcome this?

When most of the programs are being promoted successfully by affiliates, why is that you don't get listed alongwith them? Every day, I write in my scribbling pad, at the end of the day as to what all the actions that I did for the day to promote a product. Once you list out all the items, possibly you will find that you might have made some repetitive mistakes that upon analysis, can be improved.

Acceptance of Digital Trade

The continued growth of internet trade is due to the fact that it is widely accepted to digitally sell and buy. The payment method to close trade by digital money transmission has turned the trade activity fast and simple. Internet payment system, payment terminals, improvement in security of payment avoiding credit card theft or secret information threat, etc., has made internet purchase more and more popular and convenient for the users. One example like buying a pizza over internet and the conventional methods saves lot of time. Every time saved is money.

I was keep on wasting time on sending ads every day to websites that were not productive. So, I started to use classified ads once in 20 days to register and allow it to run. Earlier, I was placing ads almost daily in many classified ad sites which were killing my time and effort.

Some spend too much of their precious time by inadvertantly clicking or sending information through forms to have them captured to some autoresponders. They get practically nothing and keep on receiving junk messages through a time frame and none of the autoresponder mail is going to give them a sound idea or tip of anything except asking them to buy a product. They annoy you as much as your patience run out of steam. Almost all autoresponders will only sell their product eventually and are never bothered to buy from you. So, if you are a seller, never accept an autoresponder message as they don't help your cause. Or learn how to respond to autoresponders that will never dare to waste your time.

Saving time by not doing unnecessary activity saves money in the background. Instead use those times to do good activity by following up with leads and prospects, create friendship to like minded people and discuss methods to improve your effort. Do not participate in so many programs that you cannot able to handle. Choose your program perfectly and choose a company whose profit is totally generated by Affiliates, stick to them for a long term and promote them continuously. It is not a sprint that you do something and get its result over night. It is a gradual effort with patience, determination and focus. Never give up. Another method is "Multi-tasking" which is a great method to save lot of money. Every internet marketer is to learn the art of multi-tasking to produce effective results. Multi-tasking is nothing but two or three tasks in one time. For example, your computer is capable of printing, browsing and virus scanning all done in one time. Imagine why computer is fast, is because it performs many tasks faster in one time.

To do it perfectly, there are some steps and you follow it judiciously. The first step is to select a company who care more for the Affiliates. Understand the company's ethics and reputation. It took one year for me to find out a solid company who have the ability to pay a great income when you stick to them for a period of two years. James Jonathan earns in excess of $20,000 every month in a company as affiliates commission. It took 24 months of sustained effort for him to make his first $500! At the end of the third year, his monthly income is excess of $20,000! He was noting all his activities in a daily journal and discarding the ones which brings no return and adding new activities that are better and saving his valuable time by not doing unwanted stuff.

I had done the most important exercise of choosing a company and by trusting my effort, you can save a valuable one year effort! That is SFI International. The vital part of undertaking is to position yourself with a perfect team, who like you is willing to share and enjoy success collectively. You can join SFI through my affiliate link and be under my downline to get all the help.

Why SFI International?

SFI is a proven Affiliate Marketing Company which is run by Affiliates.
SFI's profit is solely dependent on Affiliate action and force.
SFI reward the right type of affiliates and their method eliminates good and bad seamlessly.
SFI has in excess of 30,000 products that can be sold internationally.
SFI has the best education tools that help even novice to become top class affiliates.
SFI allows you to produce your own product and helps you to sell your own stuff.
SFI helps build your own passive checks.
SFI helps you to earn royalty checks.

Join one single company, stick to it, position yourself, the rewards will be realized by sustained passive checks for your life. You must be determined to achieve this and not give up. Whenever you have problems or confusions, you must get in touch with your upline sponsors and find a solution. When you do not interact, your confusions will continue to be unanswered and unsolved conondrum.

Thanks to Author : Siv Vaidhyanathan